Who knew Bowling Lanes were Greased? And a blue weekend.

Not me apparently. Went Bowling in Seoul this weekend with friends and stepped into a vacant lane to try and get a good action photo. That trip lasted a fraction of a second. Don't think I've ever stood on anything with less grip than the bowling shoes/bowling lane combo (and yes that includes the ski boots/polished cement combo from the "incident" a couple months ago).  Me and my camera were introduced to the floor in a hurry. (Relatively) no harm done. 

"Bowling lanes are waxed, not greased" you say? Tell that to the oily greasy residue on the various parts of my bodily landing gear.  

Changing direction completely, this weekend I felt a big weight descend upon my shoulders, and I'm trying to figure out why. I'm hoping that I'm just exhausted from my multiple international flights of the last couple weeks and getting used to completely different classes again...but I'm not so sure. 

Not sure if it's hanging out with people who hate life here that's doing it, but it's not helping that's for sure. One friend in Seoul is on that kick now too.....and I came back to Korea to a fresh round of Kyle hating life here...his school is getting worse, his boss is getting lamer (she even rearranged the office so the foreigners weren't sitting together anymore), one foreign teacher is quitting, and another talking about it. I don't know if it makes me question my not hating it here, or if just, being who I am, I can't help but empathize, and feel some of that stress/flood of negative feelings that people close to me are feeling. 

The teacher that's talking about quitting happens to be the only other person in Wonju that I think I would actually be friends with at home. The only guy that I don't feel uneasy around, like I'm going to have to justify not going to the brothel, or why I'm not "sampling the locals" (as one friend so tastefully put it) or some other outing I'm not really into. So, it may have been all the talk about how I was going to survive in Wonju when Kyle and Amy and (potentially) Phil leave and I still have three months left. Yikes. 

Maybe their replacements will be cool, who knows. 

The halfway point of my contract is in a couple weeks, so maybe it was all the thinking I did about what to do after my contract runs out. My school is giving me (and Amy) the "we love you, the kids love you, can you please please stay?" trip. Which I think is genuine. I doubt they've ever had a happier environment at work, the kids do love us, we (for the the most part) love them, and we both like it at our school a lot. But it makes it hard....I can't see myself staying in Wonju if Kyle and Amy and Phil are gone, but to re-sign with a school in Seoul (where I have lots of friends and a great church) could be risky....since I won the lottery on my current school placement and many others aren't that fond of their schools. 

I could go home, but why? I won't go home for the sake of going home, unless I have something to go back for that I would love to do long-term. I'm not interested in going back and finding a random job for the sake of paying the bills for the sake of being in Victoria. I'd rather be teaching somewhere abroad. A photography job would do the trick, and I was talking with a friend about doing wedding photography together when I get back. That has potential. 

So a lot of future uncertainty is adding to this potent mix of blah feelings I suppose. Spending more time with Korean girls has made me have to think about whether I could seriously see myself getting involved in this sort of cross-cultural relationship or not as well. Another deep question to ponder. Not sure at this point. 

Evidence for the "exhausted" theory was given when I woke up today at 11am instead of the usual 8:30 or so....so maybe that's at the root of all this. In any case, whoever reads this will have a better look inside my head, and if no one does, than I've had an exercise in journaling and self-reflection, so, win-win. 

Going to see if working out makes everything better :P

Signing off for now.

장한솜 (Jang Hahn-Som) 

Which by the way, aside from sounding like handsome in Konglish, can potentially also be translated in two additional ways --> "best (one) cotton ball" or --> "best (Korean) cotton ball. I personally like "best korean cotton ball".